


thoughts

by LazuliQuetzal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 06:45:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7498179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazuliQuetzal/pseuds/LazuliQuetzal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shimizu Kiyoko misses soccer, sometimes.<br/>Most of the time, Asahi wishes he weren't so scary.<br/>Suga’s a setter for all the wrong reasons, and maybe one right one.<br/>Daichi isn't surprised that he was voted captain.<br/>_____</p><p>A character study of all the Karasuno third years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> *shrugs
> 
> I've been feeling kind of introspective and reflective lately, so here's my interpretation of Karasuno third years.

4

 

Kiyoko misses soccer, sometimes.

Throughout her childhood, from elementary to junior high, you could find Shimizu Kiyoko on the soccer field. She remembers the pressure, the adrenaline of standing in the goal with the thick gloves on her hands, knowing that she was the only thing standing between her enemy and the net.

Shimizu Kiyoko, goalkeeper. It was a title she wore with pride, with grass and mud staining her sleeves and knees, with her hair falling out of her ponytail and her teammates crowding around her. When she sees her volleyball team together, supporting each other through losses and celebrating victories together, she can’t help the little twinge of jealousy. She misses it.

Karasuno girls’ soccer team isn’t a team Kiyoko can play on. Kiyoko makes an okay forward, but she belongs in the goal, where she can put her quick reflexes and game sense to good use.

She remembers the filled out application form, the one that she’d clutched in her hand as she made her way to the field for tryouts. She remembers hovering around the hallways and constantly checking the bulletins for weeks afterward, scanning for her name on the list. And she remembers standing off to the side as the other girls cheered and celebrated in triumph, while she fought to keep the tears from spilling out of her eyes.

Kiyoko is a good goalkeeper, but she’s not the best. The look of envy and resignation on Suga’s face when Kageyama is the one on the court is an expression she’s seen on her own face, too. She knows how it feels to be passed up for someone with more genius and talent.

When he starts their final set with Shiratorizawa, she rubs his hands -- a small show of encouragement and comfort. It’s not out of any attraction to him, but out of a shared suffering and camaraderie that comes with being second best.

 

(Kiyoko misses soccer, sometimes. But when her volleyball team is celebrating and crowding together, when one of them notices her off to the side and waves her over to join the celebrations, to be a part of the  _ team, _ she misses it a little less.)

 

3

 

Most of the time, Asahi wishes he weren’t so scary.

Everything he does is painted with skeptical suspicion. Just because he’s tall and broad and a little hairier than the average high-school student, people tend to think the worst of him. 

So they steer clear and shoot him skeptical looks, which only makes him even more nervous and apprehensive. 

Those who know him also know that he’s a timid, easily scared, perpetually nervous teenager just like every other teenager on the planet. Asahi has never claimed to be anything but, and he hates that he is being misjudged for his size. 

But when he plays volleyball, he is always immensely grateful for his heavy build. 

His size is good for intimidating other teams. And he knows his spikes wouldn’t be half as powerful if he wasn’t as muscled as he is.

Asahi likes volleyball. It’s one of the few times he can throw all his size and strength into something he’s really passionate about, and no one else will think twice. He can swing as hard as he can and push as far as he can go without scaring people away. He likes that, being able to channel his frustration and worries and fears into the sport he so loves. He likes being supported, being  _ needed,  _ regardless of his stature. He likes having friends who call him their ace, because then he's more than just that scary high school student that everyone takes care to avoid.

 

(Most of the time, Asahi is a nervous, insecure mess. He sees everyone else walking around the with the courage to simply  _ be, _ to forget what others think and live their lives. And he envies them. It's volleyball, though, that gives him the confidence to spread his wings and  _ fly.) _

  
  
  


2

 

Suga’s a setter for all the wrong reasons, and maybe one right one. 

The wrong reasons include the following: the feeling of being in control of the ball, of being the playmaker, the manipulator. He likes pulling the strings and pulling out the best in his teammates, forcing them to show their skill and watching as the other team marvels at their strength and creativity. He enjoys the disgruntled looks on his opponents faces when he aims his serve in a particularly annoying spot. He likes the grumbling frustration when they try to insult him and get an optimistic response instead. 

Suga likes arranging and controlling everything, setting up situations where all it takes is the slightest breeze to knock over all the dominoes, where all the pieces come together to form a magnificent chain reaction one can't help but watch. 

He thrives off of acknowledgment. That's all he ever wanted: to be noticed. So maybe he lays his friendly persona on a little thick sometimes, maybe he runs through an uncharacteristically bold move just to see people’s reactions. 

He's not malicious, but he's certainly manipulative. Sometimes the thought makes him feel dirty.

 

(Suga’s a setter for one  _ right  _ reason alone. The reason is that, for all the individual glory and praise he craves, he craves the recognition and praise for his  _ team  _ even more. Setters are selfish, but they have to be selfless as well.)

 

1

 

Daichi isn't surprised that he was voted captain. 

Asahi is a no-go for obvious reasons, too flighty and jumpy to be a proper leader. Suga, as smart and as kind as he is, is a different type of leader.

Captains are steady, strong. They're the foundation on which a good team is built, and the choice of a leader can make or break a team. Sawamura Daichi was the obvious choice, so it's no surprise to him that he ended up in the leadership position. 

So he keeps himself standing tall, plays as their support. He gives his team encouraging smiles when they need it, and yells at them when they need that, too. He walks the line between teammate and leader, comrade and commander, and all the while he keeps Karasuno running smoothly.

He plans and executes the practices when they don't have a coach. He shoulders his peers pitying looks when they see the bags under his eyes and his sports bag on his side. When they whisper,  _ I heard we used to have a good volleyball club, it’s such a shame.  _

It's not until he gets home, until he's alone with the cold water of the shower running down his back, that he allows himself to break down and cry. Here, in privacy, he can scream and rant and throw all the tantrums he needs until he can compose himself enough to be a leader again.

And he continues to play volleyball. 

When they win, he glows with pride and pushes his team even harder, knowing that they're one step closer to what used to be a distant dream. 

When they lose, he ignores the counselors’ advice to quit and focus on school, because there's more than just his future on the line: it's the future of the Karasuno Volleyball Club. He hopes that it can carry itself after he graduates, prays that his influence is enough to instill confidence in the younger players for when he's gone. 

Daichi knows how important it is to have a good captain, so he tells himself to do the very best that he can.

  
(Captain. The foundation, the support, the leader. It's a heavy, heavy burden to bear, but it's one that he bears with pride.)

**Author's Note:**

> *jazz hands*


End file.
